The YYH Guys: Go Shopping
by Namimizu-chan
Summary: Read for yourself. If the title doesn't give it away...
1. Act One

The YYH Guys: Go Shopping  
  
By: Wife of Kurama  
  
Disclaimer- I do not own YYH. All I own is the old lady (who is also in my random story) and the name brands of products.  
  
Narrator-It was about seven A.M. when everyone woke up. Kurama, like always, got out of bed first. He headed to the shower. While Kurama was washing, everyone slowly pushed himself or herself out of bed. Like every morning, Yuseke was up last, meaning that he had to make breakfast. Today he managed to persuade Keiko to help him. She only went out of the daily routine because she and the girls had a "surprise" for the guys. After showering, Kurama came into the kitchen.  
  
Kuwabara- *singing* Hey good lookin, whacha got cookin? How's bout cookin somethin up with me?!  
Kurama- *sweat drop* Uhh, ok then... Yuseke what's for breakfast?  
Yuseke- Waffles...  
Kuwabara- Yummy yummy in my tummy!  
Yuseke- ... We have to hurry, the girls have a surprise for us. *starts fantasizing, until Keiko smacks him* Oww! What was that for?!  
Keiko- You are a pervie-fantasizing boy!  
Yuseke- How did you get in my head?!  
Keiko- It doesn't take a brain surgeon to know what you are thinking of...  
Kurama- So what is the surprise?  
Yukina- *giggle* Just wait. *Giggle*  
Yuseke- We can't.  
The girls randomly giggle until they burst out laughing.  
Yuseke- WHAT!?  
Keiko- We wanted to do a sort of life switch. So-  
Hiei- *whisper to Kurama* I'd hate to be the girl who got Kuwabara... ^.^  
Keiko- So you four will do the shopping, and we will lie around like lazy bums!  
Kurama- How am I a lazy bum!? I do many things!  
Botan- You and Hiei aren't the bums; you are the assistants of the bums! ^^  
Kurama- Isn't that comforting... -.-  
Kuwabara- I love shopping! ^^ Let me go get my purse! *runs like a girl to search for his purse*  
Kurama- ...o_O  
Kuwabara comes back purse in hand. The purse is small and pink with vibrant red hearts all over it.  
Yuseke- How are we going to get there?  
Yukina- The mini van silly! ^^  
Yuseke- Great...  
Botan shoves a mile long list and keys into Kurama's hands.  
Girls- Bye! *push boys out the door and slam the door*  
The boys get into the car. Making an extremely dangerous move, they let Kuwabara drive. (Yes, I realize he is only fourteen or fifteen) While on the way to the sore, Kurama pulls out the list reading over the list.  
Kurama- No way! They want us to buy that!?  
Hiei- *Looks over at the list* Ewww, awful girls...  
Yuseke- What is it? *snatches the list from Kurama* Omigod, that is wrong...!  
They finally arrive at the store when Kuwabara decides it is a good time to bring up the oh-so-horrible item on the list.  
Kuwabara- What was so bad? *looks at the list* Oh there's nothing wrong with that...  
Kurama- Did you lose your masculinity? How is that?  
Kuwabara- For starters, my sister used to make me go buy them. Plus, I was going through a discovery stage. I just wanted to unlock the secrets of women-hood. They are in aisle 46; there are few brands like-  
Yuseke- We don't want to know...  
Kurama- I am trying to be subtle...  
Hiei- Well I'm not like you, I will talk for you. KUWABARA IS A GAY BAKA! *everyone in the store is staring at Hiei* What are you looking at? *scares a little boy*  
Little Boy- Mommy, Mommy Where are you? I'm scared!  
Kurama- Now do you see why I wanted to be subtle?  
Hiei- Whatever...  
Yuseke- The first thing we need is flour.  
Kuwabara- Aisle 5.  
Yuseke- *sweat drop* Ok then... Off to aisle 5.  
Kurama- *thinking of excuse to get away* Umm, don't you think we need a, oh what are those called I'm not to good with names of things, oh yea a cart? ^^  
Yuseke- I guess...  
Kurama- Well Hiei and I will go get one! *smacks Hiei* Right!?  
Hiei- Ouch!  
Kurama- RIGHT!?  
Hiei- Yea sure... *walks with Kurama*  
Kurama- *muttering to Hiei* How did we let those girls talk us into being the lucky assistants?  
Hiei- I believe it was you that didn't try to do anything.  
Kurama- Oh lay off... It's not like you tried to stop the act either.  
Hiei- I couldn't leave my only true friend stranded with Kuwabara.  
Kurama- But Yuseke is here.  
Hiei- Maybe his body is, but his mind isn't...  
Kurama- What do you mean? *grabs cart*  
Hiei- Yuseke is too worried about whether or not he is getting any.  
Kurama- Well that is true... Then I guess we had better head back to the dumb rock. ^^  
When the two get back, they approach a confrontation between Yuseke and Kuwabara.  
Yuseke- We should buy Mr. Doughboy because it has quantity!  
Kuwabara- No, we should buy Granny's Old Tyme Bakery Flour because my grandma uses it!  
Yuseke- For one who cares about your old granny-  
Kuwabara- *small whimper* Granny...  
Yuseke- o.O Two, what if your grandma is in an old people mafia? (The Prunes hehe, My friends and I came up with it in Drama) She makes food with that flour and feeds rich people. Then when they mysteriously die... Well it is because of that poisoned trash!!!  
Kurama- I think we missed something...  
Hiei- Well it seems Yuseke found out about Kuwabara's granny. Koenma has been going on about them. *imitating Koenma* They might be demons Hiei. What happens when they destroy everything? Blah blah blah! *back to his voice* I mean what are they going to do to me? Gum me to death? Beat me with a cane? Talk about there child hood? They can't possibly be demons, or at least his Granny can't because, one I say so, two Kuwabara has no demon in him and he isn't cool enough to.  
Man in store who appears to be a demon- Oh you mean the mafia Granny? Back in the day... Good times, good times...  
Kurama- Ewww! More than I needed to know...  
Girl in store- *to demon man* What month are you born in? (hehe this is a little thing from school. It was in Spanish class...)  
Man- May...  
Girl- *country accent* Y'all are sprang babies!  
Kurama- What are you talking about?  
Girl- *country accent still* Well it's true you born in sprang. I'm a winter baby!  
Man- Right...  
Hiei- Will you please go away?  
Girl- And what month are you born in?  
Hiei- Is it any of your business?  
Girl- Well I see how it is... *walks away*  
Yuseke- Well I know I am right, *grabs Mr. Doughboy flour* Ok the next item is, soap.  
  
**************************************************************************** ** WOK- Ok, so did you like it so far? R&R! I have the whole story ready, but I have to get some of it out. ^^ 


	2. Act 2

The YYH Guys: Go Shopping  
  
By: Wife of Kurama  
  
Act 2  
  
Disclaimer: I still do not own YYH. Nor do I own LOTR or Hooked on Phonics. I will never own them, if I did I would not be writing on this web site. Needless to say, I will still be putting this stupid disclaimer here so I am not sued. So if you have any further more questions do not contact me... ^^ (Oh you know I'm kidding... Right?)  
  
Kuwabara- Aisle 107.  
Yuseke- Well since the grocery store directory is following us...  
Kurama- *Pushing cart to aisle 107* Well, Kuwabara's knowledge of the store is useful.  
Hiei- Kuwabara, knowledge, useful. I don't understand... Can those words be used in the same sentence?  
Kurama- Yes, but it is like speaking another language, it doesn't make any sense...  
The boys are browsing the soap aisle (aisle 107) when al old lady rams into their cart.  
Yuseke- What the hell are you doing?  
O.L.- I can't see where I'm going. Help me!  
Kurama- Should we?  
O.L.- YES!  
Kurama- I was asking Hiei.  
Hiei- Nah.  
O.L.- What the f*ck are you smokin? I need H-E-L-P, HELP!  
Kuwabara- Did you learn that in Hooked on Phonics?  
Yuseke- o_o Go away you old hag! The prunes (not the mafia) are over there!  
Kuwabara- Aisle 7.  
O.L.- Go to hell! For your information, I hate prunes!! HELP ME!  
Yuseke- Lemme think... *paces around* I've got it! *light bulb effect* Kurama, the envelope please! *Kurama hands him an envelope* Ok, the results show, hmmm this is a good one, it says, "Go away you old hag!" Also "I think you're cute!?" Who wrote that?  
Kuwabara- Hehehe...  
Yuseke- *anime fall*  
Kurama- Ok I've had enough. What's wrong lady?  
O.L.- You see I was going to the store to boy some things when I ran into a tree. Some man drove me to the store. When I walked in the doors, the greeting person asked me on a date. I was a tad bit scared but mainly flatter-  
Yuseke- Could you speed it up?! I have people to see things to do!!  
Hiei- We all, well most, know what he means by that... o_O  
O.L.- As I was saying some young man took my glasses off me claiming that they weren't mine. * A sales clerk walks up* AND IT IS MY DUTY TO ANNOUNCE IT WAS HE!  
S.C.- *has a dorky voice* Any troubles boys and old lady?  
O.L.- My name is Hortensia.  
S.C.- Ok... My name is Chetwin and no one calls me it... (hehehe Chetwin... ^^)  
Hortensia- LIKE I SAID, YOU ARE THE ONE!  
Chetwin- OoO did I win the prize!!!???  
Hortensia- NO! YOU STOLE... THE GLASSES!  
Chetwin- For the last time, they belong to the store!  
Hortensia- No they don't! I walked in here with them on!  
Chetwin- No you didn't. I watched you on the surveillance tapes. You sat down your glasses and walked off with the others. *Pulls out old cracked pair of glasses* These are yours.  
Hortensia- Oh, thanks... *sad, ashamed, and embarrassed of her cruddy glasses*  
Kurama- *pulls out some money* How much are those? *points at newer glasses*  
Chetwin- $60 with tax.  
Kurama- Here *hands Chetwin the money* Now would you kindly give this poor bereft (hehe) old lady, I mean Hortensia, the glasses?!  
Chetwin- *like genie* As you wish! *hands Hortensia the glasses*  
Hortensia- Thanks boys. Would you like to come to the poker night on Sunday?  
Kuwabara- I'm allergic to poker...  
Hortensia- *blinkblink* Ok, but if you change your mind... *Singing* Pick up the phone, the call is free 788-9962 Hortensia! Hortensia!  
Kuwabara- *starts dancing* I love this song!  
Hiei- o.O Uhh, we'll remember that... *Hortensia and Chetwin leave* Yuseke, why didn't you kill her?  
Kuwabara- Because you must respect your elders!  
Hiei- Uhh... You forgot your medicine again didn't you?!  
Kuwabara- *little kid voice* LET'S READ! *finds a random book* First op-en the tur-key up... Then bast-er it. Fi-na-lly pop the bird in the ov- en. AND WHAM! You have a tur-key me-al!  
Hiei- *sweat drop* Maybe we should finish shopping...  
Kuwabara- Okie dokie smokie! *chucks the book in a random direction. The books hits a salesclerk in the head*  
SalesClerk- OUCH! *rubs head* AHHHHHHH I'M BLEEDING! HELP! *dies*  
Hiei- Now look what you did! Murderer!  
Kuwabara- Scawy Hiei! *whimper*  
Narrator- The boys shop for many merciless hours, when they finally reach the last item.  
Kurama- The last thing on our list is potatoes.  
Kuwabara- Yes, what we need are a few good taters.  
Gollom- *pops out of no where* What are taters precious, what are taters?!  
Hiei- *kicks Gollom* Die rodent, DIE!!  
Gollom- Don't kick us! *Bites Hiei*  
Hiei- *pulls out katana, chases Gollom around the store screaming "Die rat-man Die!"* GET OUT OF OUR STORY!  
Gollom- But what are taters?  
Kuwabara- PO-TA-FERS! Chuck 'em, play 'em, stick 'em in your ear!  
Sam- *pops out of nowhere* NO, no, no! They are PO-TA-TOES! And you Boil 'em, mash 'em, stick 'em in a stew! Not your ear!  
Kuwabara- Really? *pulls a potato out of his ear*  
Hiei- *stops chasing Gollom and puts away katana* LEAVE NOW AND NEVER COME BACK!  
Gollom- Hey that's my line!!!  
Hiei- Didn't you hear me? *reaches for katana*  
Gollom- Come along now fat hobbit, we are obviously not welcome!  
Sam- But where is Mr. Frodo? Gollom- How should I know?!  
Sam- Oh wait! Here you are! ^^ *points at Kuwabara*  
Kuwabara- Me? *flattered*  
Sam- Come on, gimme a smooch!  
Kurama- Yea "Frodo" give him a five second frencher! ^^  
Sam- *Jumps on Kuwabara*  
Yuseke- Quit making out with some midget and come on! You are such a pain Kuwabara!  
Sam- Kuwabara? Who's that? Aren't you Frodo?  
Kuwabara (I mean "Frodo")- Yes, I am Frodo. Now where were we? *Goes back to make out session*  
Yuseke- COME ON!  
Kuwabara- Were you talking to me? If you want to address me, my name is Frodo!  
Gollom- No it's not!  
  
Real Frodo- *nowhere crap* SAM!!! NO!!! I thought you loved me!  
Kuwabara- Imposter! I am Frodo!  
R.F.- I am!  
Sam- ^^ How about you both are! *grabs Frodo and pulls him closer*  
Kuw. And Frodo- Ok! *begin "LoveFest"*  
  
Yuseke- We are leaving!!  
Kuwabara- Bye Bye!! ^^  
Hiei- Ok, I have been scarred for life...  
Kurama- Me too... *grabs potatoes* Well let's go...  
Narrator- They finally finish shopping and check out. Luckily there were only injuries in the awaiting lines... (Hiei got tired of being in "hell") On the way home... **************************************************************** W.O.K.- So sorry I took so long to write! ^^ I was so busy last week... :/ Any way, how do you like the story so far? I think Act two was more fun to write if I do say so myself! ^^ Mainly because of Hortensia. Considering she is my own character... Well Act 3 will be up soon! 


	3. Act 3

The YYH Guys: Go Shopping By: Wife of Kurama  
  
Act 3 Disclaimer: No matter how many chapters I have I still do not own YYH or LOTR!!!! So just give up my friends! ^^  
  
Narrator- The three are driving home...  
  
Kurama- Do you really think we should have left Kuwabara there?  
  
Hiei- Yea, he'll be fine. I'm sure his new friends have a car to drive him home...  
  
Kurama- Are you sure? I think they were hobbits, you know, from Middle Earth...  
  
Hiei- Well, *thinking, gets an idea* no one really likes him anyway Kurama...  
  
Yuseke- *sobbing* But he was my friend!!  
  
Kurama- Don't fret Yuseke, Kuwabara will be okay.  
  
Yuseke- *stops sobbing* Ok... *pulls in drive way at home*  
  
Narrator- At home, Keiko and Yukina are waiting outside for the boys.  
  
Keiko- *looks at watch that appears on her arm, surprised* Back so soon? We expected at least another hour.  
  
Yuseke- Yea, we would have taken longer but, ummm, we lost a little luggage...  
  
Keiko- *going through groceries* But, everything is here.  
  
Yuseke- Yea, but I mean something, uhhh, bigger... Come out here guys... *Kurama and Hiei walk over*  
  
Yukina- Where's Kuzuma?  
  
Yuseke- Well, we were going to get some potatoes, when we ran into some midgets-  
  
Kurama- Hobbits.  
  
Yuseke- Right, anyway Kuwabara fell in love with them. We figured he was happier, so we left him.  
  
Yukina- o.O Ok then.  
  
Keiko- That is such a funny story!  
  
Hiei- He isn't making it up.  
  
Keiko- o.O Yuseke you have to save him!  
  
Yuseke- *exhausted* Ok... but tomorrow...  
  
Keiko- Ok sweetie, I guess you all deserve a break! ^^  
  
Kurama- So how did you enjoy laying around like lazy bums? Have fun? -.-  
  
Keiko- Well we really didn't want to do that. Botan on the other hand, took it a bit seriously... You may not want to come inside... It is quite disturbing...  
  
Hiei- *sarcastic* I've seen scarier things than bums...  
  
Keiko- *glares at Hiei who is glaring right back* Well, suit yourself... But don't say I didn't warn you... *Opens door* Come on in...  
  
Narrator- The house is trashed. Botan is sprawled across the couch drinking a beer and eating some pizza.  
  
Yuseke- Where did you get the beer? ^^  
  
Botan- *manly voice* Delivery *burps really loud* yep... *Botan is wearing a dirty old sweaty shirt and pair of pants, no socks, and her hair is tangled in a ball on top if her head.  
  
Kurama and Hiei- o.O  
  
Yuseke- Don't we get anything for doing your little chore?  
  
Keiko- You'll find out soon enough...  
  
Yuseke- ^^ *Keiko smacks him* Ouch!! What was that for!?  
  
Keiko- You're definitely not getting that! PERVE!  
  
Narrator- Will Kuwabara be found? Will Yuseke's wish be granted to get with Keiko? Most of all will Botan go back to being herself? All this and more will be answered on the next edition of "The YYH Guys"!  
  
~The End!~  
  
******************************************************** Kurama-o.O Ok WOK *questions self silently* you are really strange...  
  
WOK- But you still love me! ^^ Don't you?! *panics*  
  
Kurama- Sure... *thinks over decision*  
  
WOK- Ok! *settles down* Well anyway, how did you like the whole story? Wasn't it great! ^^ (JK) To think, this is the beginning of a great series! Hehe... Well, please R&R!  
  
Kurama- Yea or else!  
  
WOK- o.O Uhhh, why are you threatening them?  
  
Kurama- I dunno...  
  
WOK- ... Anyway, Goodbye People!  
  
Kurama- Yea see ya! 


End file.
